This thing called love....

These days being in love is like the new 'in-thing'. Everybody's doing it. On an hourly basis there's at least someone updating their BB, facebook or twitter status about someone they love or who loves them. Half the time I just look at it and think 'jonzing', not because I don't believe in love or that I don't think these people are being sincere, but because I think a lot of people take that word for granted and say it without truly grasping its meaning.

People get into relationships to fulfill needs. They usually come in these categories:

1) Emotional needs: Everyone loves the attention. Someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to hold them when they're feeling frail & vulnerable. Someone to confide in, someone to listen without judging, someone to boost their confidence, someone to believe in them; or at least pretend to. A lot of people get 'high' on attention and need a regular dose of it to survive so they look for someone who will offer them that thrill and shower them with their time, words & affection. They will in turn pledge their undying love. (Usually lasts for about a few months). The problem with this is that when they find someone else who can devote more time & attention they quickly jump ship.

2) Physical needs: uhm...errh....u know....us human beings are...errh....physical, lol. Basically we all have sexual urges and a lot of people see love & relationships as a means to an end. So we trade our time, affection & attention for sexual favours and call it love. I'm not a self-righteous prude, I believe sex is great but aside from the fact that I strongly oppose sex before marriage I know its worst foundation to build a relationship on. What happens when the person is sick, or busy or far away? Will u find someone else to give your 'love' to?

3) Financial needs: I don't think I need to explain this one too much. This is usually one part of a symbiotic relationship. The 'provider' gives the 'receiver' money or other material gifts & in turn gets either his emotional or physical needs fulfilled (most times both). I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having someone take care of your needs but if that is the basis of your relationship then you're on a looooong tin. If you think about it long and hard you'll realise that there isn't really much difference between 'aristo-ism' & prostitution, except that the later is honest & not sugarcoated.

Once again I would like to emphasize that these are not necessarily bad (I called them needs didn't I?) but they shouldn't be the basis on which a relationship should be built. I remember when I started studying psychology & we went over its history, founding theories and all that poppy cock. I got bored and asked my tutor what the point was? Why I needed to study stuff that was outdated and no longer relevant and she said, "to understand anything you need to look upon its past and not its present; you can only appreciate the final work of an artist when u know the genesis of the matter. What inspired him? Who/what planted the seeds that grew into the idea? (Inception)." Well, that's what we're going to do now. We're going back to the beginning of all of this. Back to the genesis, back to the author, back to God.

I believe God's love for us should be the foundation on which we build our relationships.
There's a portion of the bible that explains this love and I believe that if we can model our relationships after this then we cannot go wrong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Love is patient,
True love is unconditional, that is, it does not depend on the attributes or lack thereof of the person loved, therefore, it is willing to give as much time necessary, and as much space as necessary for that person to grow.

love is kind and is not jealous;
Love seeks to give others something of benefit for their welfare, and consequently, rejoices when they do benefit.

love does not brag and is not arrogant,
To lift one's self up in reference to others leaves no room for unconditional, graceful love.

does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,
To act inappropriately, shamefully (morally, especially in the area of sexual purity) is not in accordance with true love. Love never seeks it's own gratification but rather the interests of others.

is not provoked,
Selfishness seeks to manipulate others by stimulating certain selfish emotions. Love will not do this to others, nor will it let it happen to itself.

does not take into account a wrong suffered,
Forgiveness. Let it go. Bitterness is the acid. You are the container. Get rid of it or it will kill you.

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
Love does not somehow gloss over things that are going to be hurtful. True love originates from the truth.

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If love really is unconditional, it will hold any weight, face any doubt, persist through hopelessness, and last any trial

Love never fails...
If it did, would it be love?

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Someday, faith will not be needed, for we will see God. Hope will not be needed, for when everything is fulfilled, there is no need for hope. But love, yes, to it there will be no end. If it did, it wouldn't be love.

Thank You.